Many people passively fall into romantic relationships.
Just like a company needs to interview for potential employees, we also need to vet the people we give our precious energy and time to (and potentially spend the rest of our life with).
The only way we can do this is by knowing what we’re looking for in a relationship (our desired “outcome”) and then creating a vision of the person that will help us get there.
One way to create that vision is to create a self-aware list.
In Episode 4, Angelica and I talk about the lists we’ve created and how they’ve been essential in our healing journeys.
At the end of the episode I go over some practical steps on how to create this list for yourself and some major pitfalls to avoid.
Questions to think about:
Why doesn’t feeling comfortable/natural in a relationship necessarily mean it’s right for us?
What is your desired outcome in romantic relationships? What end goal do you have in mind?
Why do opposites need to be careful in a dating relationship?
Why do you need to become the person you describe on your list?
TO LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE:
Apple Podcasts: http://bit.ly/overthinker-apple
Google Podcasts: http://bit.ly/overthinker-google
Intro music from BENSOUND.COM.
(click to expand)
+ Show Notes —>
- Spiritual Connection (Love for God – Prayer)
- Amazing Sex (comfortable – try new things- passionate – want each other)
- Intellectual Conversation
- Love, Understanding/Acceptance, Compassion (getting to know about each other and how and why we act and do what we do then loving and being kind about it)
- Challenging (makes me think differently and not afraid to say when they don’t agree and explain why)
- Partner in crime (have each others back- do things just because the other wants to)
- Intimacy (learn all the good and the bad about each other)
- Listening (both sides)
- Traveling/Adventure (seeing the world together and trying new things)
- Laugh, Fun, Heart racing
- Physical Touch (holding hands, rubbing each others arms-face-head)
- Romance (sweet gestures)
- Dating (Going on weekly dates)
- Building Empire (career oriented)
- Build Home and Family (create our own home)
- Support (reassurance- loving and caring when down or upset)
- Honesty and loyalty (truthful even when it hurts and always on * each others side even if wrong)
- Communication and transparency (nonverbal and verbal- feelings, truths, vulnerable, fears- hard conversations)
- Compromise (middle ground- best for both of us)
- Respect (in all aspects)
- Stability (emotional, financial)
- Critical Thinker/Problem-solver
- Self Awareness
- Work Ethic
- Confident and humble (vs. insecure – egotistical, conceited, narcissitic)
- Honesty and Openness (w/ tact)
- Desire for constant evolution
- Active (like to go out and do things) -> openness to new experiences
- Love people/healthy social life
- Desire to serve/give
- Desire to work on and constantly improve relationship
- Good communicator and willingness to communicate
- Spice (sense of humor, spontaneity, desire for variety)
- Social Awareness
- Creativity (a desire to create)
- Abundance-minded (not afraid to take risks)
- Someone who sees me as an equal/treats me like one
- Supportive (physically/emotionally [empathetic, understanding] present)
- Considerate of others
- Stands strong in their identity/path
- Follows through on their word
- Sense of purpose/belief in a meaningful existence
- Desire to protect
- Love for conversation
- Persistent and fights for what they want or believe in
- Sexually attractive
- Love for conversation
- Value efficiency/quickness
- Punctual/sense of time
- Love food